#dark Jewish humor

[fromgoy2joy]

I’m still nearly crying laughing from this interaction that happened yesterday.

I wore my Magen David in French lecture. It is 8:30 in the morning. I sat down next to this random girl that I’d never really seen before.

She looks at me for 0.7 seconds before starting to avidly sketch palestenian flags on her notes for the next hour and a half. Like pages and pages of the symbol, glancing at me the entire time.

Whoaaa, you really showed me up. I’m deeply offended and don’t know what to do with myself ! Help! I’m meeeeelting! The supposed Zionism in me is burning!!

Like I have no opinions on that flag. No grudge or resentment. But what makes someone go angry bird attack mode when seeing a symbol that’s Jewish adjacent?

[still-searching-for-something]

Nah, that’s preposterous. No state would willingly fork over land, let alone to us. And that state would just be hated and invaded by its neighbors and destroyed. Nah, we should make an autonomous Jewish workers community where we are. It’ll definitely work—what are our neighbors gonna do, kill all of us because they hate us so much in pogroms and a genocide?

"I can't believe Jews are genociding the Palestinians! I was so sad when I realized they didn't learn their lessons about genocide and oppression from the Holocaust--"

Excuse me? Lessons? Tell me, what lessons were we meant to derive from the death camps and human experimentation? I wasn't aware the Holocaust and was meant to be an educational seminar

[sweetsynth]

I hate to have to state the obvious, but people know hating/'getting rid of ' Jews won't fix the world somehow - right? Believe me, that one's certainly been tried and tested

[x-heesy]

𝚂𝚒𝚐𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚞𝚍 (/𝚏𝚛��ɪ𝚍/ 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝚈𝙳,[2] 𝙶𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗: [ˈ𝚣𝚒ː𝚐𝚖ʊ𝚗𝚍 ˈ𝚏𝚛ɔʏ𝚍]; 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚗 𝚂𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚂𝚌𝚑𝚕𝚘𝚖𝚘 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚞𝚍; 6 𝙼𝚊𝚢 1856 – 23 𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 1939) 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗 𝙰𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚗𝚎𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜, 𝚊 𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚒𝚝.

𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝙰𝚂𝚜

𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝙸 𝚜𝚎𝚎, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚜

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸’𝚖 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚗‘ 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗‘ 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎

𝙸𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎

‚𝙲𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚒𝚖𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚎𝚜

𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗‘ 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎

𝚂𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝? 𝙻𝚎𝚝’𝚜

𝚂𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚢

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢

𝚂𝚘 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛

‚𝙲𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗‘ 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚎

𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗‘ 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎

𝚂𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝? 𝙻𝚎𝚝’𝚜 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔!

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗‘

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗‘

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝚈𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝚈𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝚈𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝚈𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗‘

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚡

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗‘ (𝙰𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚜)

𝙰.𝙳.𝙸.𝙳.𝙰.𝚂. 𝚋𝚢 𝙺𝚘𝚛𝚗 🎧

@frenchpsychiatrymuderedmycnut @bigbonzo @inbetweenneeds 😂🥃

[my-fave-tiktoks]

Her name is lindsay lucido

Shes the slay she thought she would be

Iconic

[shalom-iamcominghome]

One of the guys I've gotten close to has offered to write a character profile if the class needs one because - and I quote - "you haven't committed any October 7ths" so... I have that going for me, I think.......

[rebel-girl-queen-of-my-world]

“You can now track your void on 23andMe. My void started in the chest of a tailor’s wife in Belarus, in the 1850s, in the Pale of Settlement… it was a - it’s a 99.9 percent Ashkenazi void. And you’ve all been sitting in it for an hour now.”

Marc Maron: From Bleak To Dark

I love that our voids both originated in Belarus! Well, mine is a Lithuanian/Belarusian/Polish void, but…

[whimsyprinx]

how are there south park fans, how are there south park fans who are also minorities,, what’s wrong with y’all???

[what-i-want-shitpost-vent-idklol]

Ya i def cant post this shit on facebook😒 and dont give me that delulu “BUT THOSE OTHER TIMES ISRAEL WAS DESTROYED WEREN REAL, THIS TIME ITS REEEAAALLL”

U fucking shitsticks. RIP THE RELIGION BANDAID OFFFFFFF ALREADY

[fromgoy2joy]

Here is the scene -

Shabbat dinner at a rabbi’s house with all the college kids from different schools in the area immersed in discussion. Spaghetti lines up high on each plate with a minimal serving of droopy artichoke. The rabbi made an announcement at the beginning of the meal that calories don’t work on Shabbat and we’re eating for two souls :

A girl I hadn’t met before- Dawn- was discussing the lawsuit set against her school for antisemitism. This is very common nowadays so I was nodding along, twirling noodle around my fork.

My friend , who we will call Duck, shook his head. “I’m lucky.” He stabbed a piece of artichoke. “My school is administratively failing, so that’s the focus. Not the world falling to crap.”

I nod along, eying the challah on the other side of the table.

“Joy, have you experienced anything?” Dawn asked, politely. I know she would’ve loved me to say “oh nothing! We’re actually beloved there!” But that wasn’t the case.

“Oh- uh! “ I jolted up. “No more than the usual.”

“Well,” Dawn peered at me. “What’s your ‘usual’?”

“Ah,” I took the moment to think. “Oh. Well. I started my conversion journey in October and all my freshman first semester friends cut me off because that made me complicit in genocide.”

Both of their eyes widened at me. “Oh G-d,” Dawn put down her fork. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh don’t worry about it! You live, you learn.” I waved my hand. “Let’s see. Oh, oof, there was the time a Jewish kid got beat up and nearly thrown into traffic at a protest -“

“Really!?”

“Oh yeah,” I twirled spaghetti. “Our antisemitism teach in was canceled because we are “genocide colonizers” and it got dangerous to host. A professor made an entire class defend Hamas for a final paper,”

“No fucking way.” Duck breathed.

I shrugged. “Apparently, it was an 1800s philosophy class.” My two friends squawked before I continued. “We’ve got the cliche of ‘resistance is justified’ but I don’t think that’s anything unique-“

“You understand that’s still bad, right?” Dawn interrupted. I felt caught off guard, and answered slowly.

“Yeah of course. It’s just kinda lame. Lack of originality. There’s a bit more. Oh!” I snapped my fingers. “The Nazi thing!”

Dawn and Duck are both staring at me, in a daze. I felt like a commercial, head buzzing with so many examples that I wanted to say “but wait , there’s more!”

But instead of a free water bottle to go with whatever infomercial contraption there is, instead it was a long list of ways my life is passively and actively in danger.”

“I’m so sorry, Joy.” Duck began. Dawn nodded slightly. “I had no idea it was this bad. I was at a conference recently, and a lot of the talk was how bad your university has gotten. You guys might actually be the worst in the state.”

There are things I know logically. Like that I should eat more than 1.65 meals a day, that what I’ve been experiencing isn’t normal.

But it was Shabbat, my heart was as light as it could be, and I was here in my beloved community. I twisted my face into a grim smile. “Huh. Celebrity moment! Now, could you pass the challah?”

(I got like five extra pieces, so, you know! Perks to Jew hate!

Jokes, jokes.)

[brightlotusmoon]

Hmmm, I like that idea. It's like bookends.

I'm so extremely serious when I say doctors should be put through an extremely extensive reliscensing process every 10 years. Doctors should have their knowledge scrutinized against current medical research and be de-barred at even the tiniest discrepancy. Too many old doctors absolutely refuse to stay up to date on research and dismiss patients because of their personal experiences. Too many people die every year because doctors don't take us seriously and refuse to listen to people who KNOW something is wrong. Too many people are told their problems are nothing and come back in a year or more with serious illnesses and doctors are just like "lol everyone makes mistakes" but doctors mistakes routinely cost people their lives! I'm tired of medical malpractice being swept away under the guise of "mistakes were made."

[whyshedisappeared]

.

[my-fave-tiktoks]

💙

[skankhunt44]

I may be an asshole but at least I don't support jkr shit...

[rebel-girl-queen-of-my-world]

“…that we have found recently that there is actually something that brings most people together, it’s antisemitism. I’m saying that as a Jew, and as a Jew, I’m saying that we will replace you. (Audience laughing, applauds) We’re doing it, we’re all doing our bit. You - there’s an app now we can replace you with. And it’s a commission thing. How - we get a certain kickback for the number of you replaced.”

Marc Maron: From Bleak to Dark

[vaspider]

Okay so someone shared this link on the server for the Chronicles of Darkness game I've been running since 2020 and I looked at the link and went 'yeah right' and then I read the article and went 'hunh' and then I watched the first three episodes of 'Knuckles,' which didn't take long because each episode is about half an hour long, and actually I fucking cried my eyes out at the big fight that is referenced because like... it's ... good, actually?

The show is very silly, and a lot of the humor is very childish, which makes a lot of sense, right, because it's about a fucking video game, but, at least so far, it's an extremely sincere show.

The siblings in this show act like highly exaggerated siblings. Of course adults wouldn't act like this, but it doesn't matter, because that's not really who the show is for. The show is for kids. It's goofy. The heart of sibling rivalry is there. The heart of hurting over a parent who abandoned you is there. The heart of a parent missing a family tradition is there.

The jokes that are made are made with love for Jewishness. Whoever made the food jokes has eaten a lot of gefilte fish and matzoh ball soup. Whoever wrote the episode understands how important it is that nothing puts out the Shabbat candles. Whoever wrote the episode understands the importance of minhagim -- the traditions that are unique to your family, to your synagogue, whatever.

Clearly they're not shomer Shabbos because their traditions include watching movies after Shabbat dinner, but that's not presented as them being Bad Jews -- it's just their family tradition, and that's just how it is.

Mom's bracha for the candles has the 'Adenoy' pronunciation which is so very New York Older Ashkenazi Jewish that it made my heart ache and made me powerfully homesick for the East Coast, since so many of the older people at my old shul used that specific pronunciation.

The fact that they literally centered a pair of Shabbas candles (with what are clearly kosher candles burning!!) in the fight, and the entire fight revolves around those candles? It just hit me right in the middle of the chest.

There's a difference between a show being silly and a show being insincere, and Knuckles is silly but it's not insincere. I will fully admit that I watched the first three episodes to get to the episode entitled The Shabbat Dinner, but you know... I might just finish the series? It's got heart, and all of the actors are clearly having such a good time. It's one of those projects that I refer to as a Summer Camp Show/Movie, where everybody's getting a nice paycheck and having a very good time and not taking themselves too seriously.

Plus, Christopher Lloyd made me laugh until I choked.